Anxiously Avoiding Male Type: Why it is a Magnet for Lonely Hearts
In this series of articles, we will analyze an “alarming-free” man – a type that skillfully provokes women with a state of “emotional dependence”. We will not engage in the “treatment” of his soul, but look at the facts: how he behaves, why it attracts so much and what lies the trap for a woman.
1. Inaccessible, Mr. "I'm not dating anyone"
Maybe this is the first thing you will learn about him. You come to the new company and immediately allocate it from the total mass. There's something magnetic about him. You ask about him, but you are immediately thrown from heaven to earth - he does not meet anyone. Not in the sense that his heart is free, but in the sense that he is not in a hurry to give it to someone.
Everything is a little more complicated if you meet outside the team - on the Internet or where there are many unfamiliar people. The fact that he is a “lone wolf” you will learn after the first chemical reaction occurs between you.
All the signs of sympathy are obvious: you walked all night under the stars, they said, as if you know each other for a thousand years, there was incredible sex ... But all this does not mean anything, he “does not meet with anyone”.
Unfortunately, you can’t say “okay, we’re going on” you can’t. You suddenly realize that you need him. He is so special!
Types of Examples:
A boy with a difficult fate, a daredevil, a bully and a romantic in one person.
An artist or artist who is steadfastly experiencing life drama.
The best employee, entrepreneur or famous figure.
A millionaire, a philanthropist who is “unobscure” one.
Unrecognized, but proud genius.
There is no feeling that it is closed to a relationship. On the contrary, he gives the impression of a person waiting for “that one”.
If he said, “I don’t like you,” the effect of sticking would have disappeared.
But he says, “If I met, maybe we would have done something.”
He does not give a direct refusal, and this provokes persistent attempts to convince him.
2. A bright element in the team
According to the classics of the genre, it turns out to be the most attractive in the company. It may not be particularly cute, but it necessarily has a “peppering” that puts it on a step above the others.
He has charisma - not a balagure, but a person who is holding up calm, but at the right moment gives out something unexpected: a brilliant idea or a proposal that will make everyone "tcheat the nerves."
At the same time, he is not poor - he knows perfectly well the boundaries of what is permissible and sometimes seems to be a "knight" against the background of modern chaos. He does not waste energy on earning points in a team, he is simply busy with himself, and this is perceived as a sign of mind, modesty and personal strength.
3. The reason for women's competition
The understanding that a man is popular with the opposite sex makes him 10 times more attractive. An illusion is created: if several women paid attention to it, then it means that it is definitely a “valuable specimen”.
Case from practice: I was approached by a client who had been “winning” a colleague for six months who was not particularly attentive to her. She confessed:
“The strangest thing is that I started to really really want him only when I saw how our new employee looks at it. At this point, he turned into my eyes from just a “pleasant guy” into the “main prize”.
This is a classic example: the value of a man in the eyes of a woman is often determined not by his personal qualities, but by the demand for it from other women.
What is the “balm” for self-love – to be the one he “chosen once and for all” among the crowd of fans!
But women think about it late. They are like children who were offered an interesting game – excitement captures them so much that they forget to ask for what purpose this game was offered.
4. Interesting personality (and why it is a trap)
It's interesting to talk to him. He is either a specialist in his business or a rerudite. Often from him literally “smells adrenaline” – he is looking for him in a hobby to compensate for the lack of intimacy. Many of them “intoxicate.”
It is important to understand that his “interest” is often due not to the wealth of the soul, but by circumstances. He spends a lot of time alone, forced to fill the void.
And often behind this versatility there are deep injuries. A woman idolizes him, not realizing that his “feature” is just a way of survival.
Mirror for a woman: Why do you stick to such?
Women who do not know their own essence are unconsciously drawn to an “interesting, purposeful” man, hoping that he “stabilizes” them.
But the opposite happens. You are looking for a support in him, but it is his determination that will make you a “primary character” in his life. As soon as the relationship begins to interfere with his goals, he will leave without hesitation.
Look for the closeness not in the similarity of injuries, but in the ability of a person to build a healthy future.
In the next part, we will move on to the most "tasty" - we will analyze the technique of "tumina", the swing "cold-warm" and why sex with such a partner feels like a drug.
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Expert on dependence / co-dependency Burenkov D.V.
For consultation: MAH, Telegram 8-918-253-73-83